Sex for Noobs: Oral

By Maxxters

Oral sex may be the Greatest Thing Ever to many people,  but quite a few people are uncomfortable being on either the giving or receiving end (or both). Reasons for this are too many to list, but it’s important to be aware of where your partner stands and what your own feelings are one way or the other.

If you’ve already got a handle on Fingering and/or Handjobs, you’ve got a great head start. Your goal is to try and push the same buttons and pull the same levers, so a lot of information you’ve learned and techniques you’ve tried will apply here too!

Blowjobs:

Lesson one: Enthusiasm! Get into it! If you’re enjoying what you’re doing, he’s sure to enjoy himself too! Looking down and seeing an excited and aroused partner can do almost as much as the blowjob itself.

Lesson two: Learn to cover your teeth with your lips. That way he’ll feel your lips sliding up and down his shaft, not your teeth scraping it (ow!).

Lesson three: The wetter the better. Either use lube that tastes good or let your saliva get him really wet. If you’re new to blowjobs, get comfortable by kissing his penis all over. Get used to the feel of him on your lips before anything else.

When you feel ready, you can add some tongue action in as well. Lick it with a mixture of long, smooth licks and quick short flicks of the tongue. If he isn’t fully aroused yet, stick with the shaft and only move towards his glans once he’s properly warmed up. Some men love it when you lick their balls or even pop one or both into your mouth. Move your tongue over and around them, doing whatever feels good for you. Moaning or humming a bit at this point can add some vibrations to the mix, which some guys enjoy. If he likes ball play, return to them once in a while to take a break from sucking on his penis. And don’t forget you can always stimulate his testicles with your hands as you give him a blow job. Word of caution though: some guys can be very sensitive down there!

Once you’re comfortable, place the head of his penis in your mouth. Try to keep your tongue moving as you do this. Circular movements with your tongue that move around and around on his head tend to work really well. Make sure to work your lips and tongue down to his coronal ridge and hit his frenulum. The amount of pressure to use completely depends on the guy. Let him guide you.  For many people, especially those with bad gag reflexes, this is as deep as they want to go. That’s totally fine. Keep going up and down on his glans with your mouth as you work your hands on the shaft, using handjob techniques you have learned earlier.

For those of you that are happy to go deeper, it’s just a matter of bringing your lips down further on his shaft and back up again. If you can keep your tongue moving or at least put pressure on your tongue up against his shaft, it will be more stimulating for him. You can wrap your hand around the shaft, pop the glans in your mouth and ‘attach’ your lips to your thumb and forefinger. This way it feels like your entire mouth is on him as you move down and up with your hand and mouth in sync. Remember that twisting motion to use with your hand(s)!

Any time you want, take him out of your mouth and go back to licking him or give your mouth a break and let your hands do the work. Making eye contact as you put him back in (or any other time while he’s in your mouth) will make many guys melt. Play around with the movements you use. Variety is always good, and the more you try, the more likely you are to find the motions that will do it for him every time. Every guy is so different when it comes to blow jobs.

Lastly, if he’s doing something you personally don’t enjoy (like trying to face fuck you or just lying back and not engaging with you at all), then make sure to let him know. You both need to enjoy the act!

Cunnilingus (or eating out):

The same description that was used for fingering applies to the mouth… stimulating her inner thighs by licking or kissing them, sucking on her outer and inner lips and stimulating every bit of her vulva. Listen to the girl and how much pressure she likes (and where). Some of us enjoy some light nibbling or some chin action to get more force on the vulva (especially vaginal opening, perineum or even the clit). You may feel silly doing it at first, but humming or moaning while your mouth is on her can act like a vibrator and intensify the sensation. Don’t be afraid to get into it; our vaginas aren’t super delicate flowers made out of paper. Most of us can take a fair bit of action (think of what happens during vigorous sex). Yes, lots of girls may prefer a gentle, slow licking motion, but others may barely even feel that.

So what exactly do you do with your tongue? Just move it around! Try swirling it in circles, moving up and down or just side to side. A common idea to keep her guessing is to try to write the alphabet on the clit, or being as random with your motions as you can. You can also try sealing your lips around her clit and actually sucking it while moving your tongue around. As a girl nears orgasm, many find that constant pressure and consistent motions at this point helps bring them to orgasm. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to climax. Some, however, have very sensitive clits that can’t handle being touched. In these cases, just stimulate the nub over the clitoral hood.

Just like guys and blow jobs, every girl is extremely different with what she likes. It takes time and practice in order to learn what a new partner enjoys. Don’t forget to keep using your hands while you go down on her. You can rub the lower part of her vulva or insert a finger or two into her vagina and stimulate her g-spot while you’re licking her clit. You can even reverse roles and use your tongue on her vagina and rub her clit with your fingers. Don’t forget about her inner and outer lips, her pubic mound or her thighs too. It can be a nice break to go off and play with those other parts before returning to the clit and vagina. And you can always stimulate a breast or two with your free hand (or any other erogenous zone on her body within reaching distance).

There are lots of other techniques that I haven’t mentioned here, as usual, this should provide a good base of information. As I always point out, everyone is different, so communication is key. If you’re old enough to be sexually active, then you’re mature enough to talk about it in an open and honest way. So let each other know what feels good and what doesn’t, and anything else you would like them to do to you. Experiment, practice and enjoy!