(NSFW) Sex for Noobs: Sex!

Sex for Noobs: Sex!

By Maxxters

We’ve now gone over most of the basics of foreplay as well as possible issues that may arise during sexual activity and the possible ways to deal with it. So now it’s time to learn about how to be good at penetrative sex! Don’t forget you can always return to foreplay before getting back to sex. It can be incredibly hot to stop and go down on each other halfway through. Also, keep in mind this is written in the context for straight couples, but lesbian/bisexual women can apply the information here when using strap-ons or dildos. Some of it translates to anal sex as well, although keep your eyes open for next week’s article specifically on anal sex.

Just like any other sexual activity, penetrative sex takes practice. Take a look at the article on things that can go wrong to refresh your knowledge about the issues that may occur and what you can do if it happens. Here we’ll focus on how to have good sex, which basically means how to please your partner. As long as you’re both trying to pleasure one another, you’re communicating well, are open to different things and enthusiastic about it, you’re good to go!

Men

As we know, every girl is different, so what one girl loves in bed, another may not enjoy at all. So it’s important to pay attention to how she responds to the different things you do. Try to keep her main erogenous zones in mind: clit, g-spot and anterior fornix. When it comes to the clitoris, rub it with your fingers or use a toy on it. You can even get her to rub it herself if you can’t reach. There are positions, like missionary and cowgirl, which allow you to rub or grind your pubic mound on her clit as you penetrate her. The Coital Alignment Technique (CAT), which is basically missionary with the guy much further up on the girl (so his body has to move down on the inward stroke and up on the outward stroke) works really well for clit stimulation.

Hopefully you know her g-spot well now, after our fingering article as well as the one on squirting. So try to angle your penis towards her g-spot in any position you’re in. Rear entry positions like doggy and spoon tend to work very well for this. Many women find it easier to hit their g-spot when they’re on top, as it allows them to be in control of the angling to hit it just right. Also, if she pulls her knees into her chest or you place a pillow under her hips, it’s easier to hit her g-spot in missionary.

Many people aren’t aware that the spot right in front of the cervix, on the clit-side wall (the anterior fornix) is an erogenous zone. It’s usually around 5-6 inches into her vaginal canal, so you need a bit of length to be able to hit it with your penis.  You need to be sure to really angle your penis forward so it doesn’t hit the cervix.

 Some women enjoy having their cervix being hit, but many find it painful so be sure to communicate with your partner about this. Make sure she’s really well warmed up and fully aroused before you try to hit it. She’ll swell up a bit and the cervix will tilt away which makes it easier to find the anterior fornix. It also tends to be easiest to hit in rear entry positions, especially doggy. Some women find their posterior fornix to be a place of pleasure too, so see what happens when you angle yourself towards her bum.

Now that you know what spots to try to hit and angle yourself towards, also experiment with thrusting speed, depth and power. Change things up. Many times as a woman reaches climax she likes for her partner to increase all three. However, at other times, a slow, gentle session can work well. Read her mood and talk about what she wants. Power dynamics are important as well. Does she like you to be completely dominant and forceful? Or would she rather it be a 50/50 split in dominance and aggression? Maybe she’ll actually like you to be more submissive as she takes on the dominant role.

The key is to communicate about it as well as trying new things to switch things up. Make it clear how much you want her and how sexy and beautiful she is to you. Whether it’s dirty talk or just saying how good it feels, many women love a guy who’s vocal in bed. Lastly, don’t forget to use your hands and mouth! Kiss her anywhere you can, play with her breasts or ass cheeks (anal sphincter too if she likes it) and any other part of her body that feels good to her (neck, back, arms, thighs, etc).

For those of you with smaller sized penises, take a look at this article to see what specific things you can do to enhance the pleasure you give to your partner during sex.

Women

One mistake many women make is thinking that the only time they can be active during sex is when they’re riding their partner. This really isn’t the case. Yes, the most dominating position for a woman is when she’s on top (cowgirl), but that’s not the only time you should be moving and being a part of the action. It obviously is an important part, so read this article on how to ride a guy if you need help in this area. Remember, play around with your positioning/angles (all the way forward, upright, leaning back, etc) as well as the movements you make (bouncing up and down, grinding forward and back or in circles, thrusting forward and back, etc). Focus on your pleasure and what angles you like and then check to see if it feels good for your partner as well. Also, many men find it a huge turn on when they see their partner touching themselves. Play with your breasts, your clit or anywhere else that feels good for you. It’s a great way to show him how you like to be touched.

So how can you be active when you’re not on top? As you become more experienced with sex, you’ll learn how to move your hips in rhythm with his so you’re constantly thrusting into him as he thrusts into you. Like when you’re in missionary, your hips should be moving up, in a pelvic tilt each time he penetrates inwards and back down as he pulls outward. In doggy you can push your bum back towards him when he pushes too.

Experiment with different positions and how you can move your pelvis to enhance it. You can also squeeze your vaginal muscles (kegels!) when he’s in you to grip him tighter (it feels great for both of you). Alternate how long you squeeze for and when you do it.

Use your hands and mouth on him. Some guys like a girl to be more aggressive, so base your intensity on what he likes. Stroke, grab or gently scratch his back, chest, forearms, ass  or anything else you can reach. Kiss, lick, nibble or bite him anywhere you can. Many men love it when a girl is vocal in bed. Definitely don’t fake anything, but when something feels good, let him know. Whether it’s with a moan, dirty talk or letting him know specifically what he’s doing to make it great for you. Be sure to communicate about what you’d like him to do to you as well as asking what you can do to make it better for him. Be enthusiastic, confident in yourself and your body and let him know how sexy he is too.

2 comments

  1. jeff says:

    Its strange how Anal Sex seems to be almost ‘Flavour of the month’ at the moment. It seems everywhere I look its all about Anal sex and that includes some very mainstream magazines too. But this article I think is particularly informative for newbies to that particular pleasure. What I do think it could have done with is a little more bias as to how you can make the first time that much easier and relaxed by the use of Anal Beads before hand. Obviously girls don’t need to make their vagina more receptive to a penis because that is what its designed for and therefore might not think that there is preparation you can do that should make the whole experience that much more relaxed. If the girl has already played with anal beads and maybe gone up a size too then she will already know how pleasureable it can be and then will be more relaxed when its a man entering her instead. FYI here’s a link to a random page with some Anal Beads which could give you some ideas about whats available. anal beads

  2. soulmate says:

    Maximum anal pleasure requires the elimination of all pain or physical trauma from the anal experience. Self-protection on the part of the passive partner involves being ready to say “no” until he or she is ready to proceed. Readiness is a combination of physical relaxation, usually helped along by plenty of leisurely anal touching, and desire.

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